FLASH RIOT!
by Mismosis
Summary: When a young conspiracy photographer is relocated to a small town for a break, he never quite expected the greatest potential payout of his life would be found in a small seaside town. Pity he lost his camera, eh? Animal Parade based. May contain stupid.


**►► Prologue**

_I know there's something wrong with this town._

Looking to the clear, sunny sky... It really was a lovely day.

Leaning back and feeling the soft dried grass tickling at his neck and arms, the young man sighed, closing his eyes as he buried himself deeper into his own thoughts. He'd been picketing his sign for goddess knows how long since he got to this nowhere- it was nice to have a break.

_Everything's going right fine I guess for now, though that's exactly what makes me suspicious. Photographer's instincts, I suppose you can call it. Nobody with THAT nice of an ass lets you hitch a ride in the back without a fee._

Said ass gave a small snort as it pulled the hay-filled cart, despite the fact that in reality, it shouldn't exist. Mules do not exist in this world, you see- back in '87, they were all pulled into a time-rip in the space continuum of sorts. A small black hole, if you will.

_However… In that particular case…_

_They called it an asshole._

_I apologize. I'm getting off topic._

_Then again, I suppose most just passed me by due to the eccentricity of the sign… Note to self- Most of everyone tends to shun you if you stand at the side of the road with a sign reading 'S.E.X.! Please!'_

_That stands for "Save Excellent Xenon", of course. Xenon is a highly important compound if you want the flash on your camera to function properly! I have no idea what you might have thought it'd mean. I'd been hoping some fellow photographer would agree and give me a lift. Though…._

The fellow driving the cart, strong despite his age of what the younger male simply decided was "Old" in his mind (As everyone in the world is either Old, a Brat, a Chump, or Sexy, it's just a fact) turned to glance back at the now-comfortable hitchhiker he had retrieved.

_As I was saying… There has to be a catch.  
Why, I can feel his eyes burrowing into my soul….._

"So…. Er, what did you say your name was?"

_**I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY NAME! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IIIIIIT!**_

Eyes snapping open, the young man sat up, gawking at the puzzled driver for a long moment. He then promptly got to his feet, causing the old wooden wagon to creak slightly under his weight.

**"I REGRET NOTHING!"**

With that, he dove off the shed, leaping the fence on the side of the road and rolling in a manner that would make one take this otherwise peaceful game for an action movie. The beeps began picking up in volume and pace before the wagon promptly exploded. Spitting, at a cool angle offscreen, our hero strolls off into the fields, smoke rising into the heavens behind him…

….. All right, I lied. The only truth here is the fact that he was now standing, poised to jump, while the driver looked on wide-eyed. There was a long minute of ackward silence before he finally sat down.

"… Kasey, sir. Kasey Atbatte.."

_Conspiracy expert and photographer. Great title, eh?Made it up myself.  
… Well, except I dropped my camera in the drink on the way here. Ha…._

The man's pleasant smile returned. "… Well, it's nice to meet you, Kasey. I'm Cain; I run the Horn Ranch with my wife. You're the new farmer, aren't you?"

In reality, Kasey didn't know the first thing about farming- clearly, the man had made a mistake.  
"… Maybe."  
...Well, it never hurts to pad your resume, though to avoid further question of his knowledge, he quickly changed the subject. "...Are you capable of photosynthesis Cain?"

Another long pause.

"Photosynthesis? I'm not a plant! Just because I'm wearing a green shirt and don't ingest visible food does not mean that I--"

For the first time that trip, Cain received actual eye contact from the younger man, who was sitting now with his legs folded, an intense glare taking his features. "….. "

Cain narrowed his eyes. "… I've a mind to kick you off right here and now, Kasey."

Kasey was undaunted, maintaining a smooth monotone. "Answer the question, Cain."

After a few minutes, the man broke under his gaze, choking out a feeble sob.  
"……… All right, I am. Don't tell my wife though- her first husband was a dildo in disguise. He could be a real dick sometimes… Scarred her, it did. I'd hate to hurt her by having her know the truth, you see."

No further words were exchange for the remainder of the trip. Kasey ended up getting off earlier than he would have liked after all.

_Eh, I can handle a bit more walking. How far could it be?_

About half an hour later, our intrepid hero overheard a conversation nearby while losing his way in the middle of a one-track path. Curiosity (and a want for directions) drove him to take cover in the wooded area nearby. Why? For this could potentially be…

"…And you're not to come out until the heat dies down, got it?"

"Got it, Pops!"

Glancing about the tree shrouded area for a moment; the man promptly figured he was alone here after the gate shut. Removing a key from his pocket, he turned it to the handle, the lock clicking shut. Removing the key, the man headed for home, chuckling softly to himself.

"Heh, problem solved. Why didn't I think of doing that years ago?" He mused to himself as he took his leave, unaware that he was being watched the entire time.

_**A CONSPIRACY!**_

From his place fairly high in the trees, Kasey mentally kicked himself. Why the hell did I have to lose my camera on a day like this?

_… Who locks their kid in a dark forest like this, anyway?_

_… What's that sound?_

…Famous last words of a poor sap taking several bee stings to all parts of his body. Dropping from the tree like an overripe fruit, Kasey couldn't quite do much but play dead as the bees swarmed about him, the barrage seeming to be never ending. It would be several more minutes before the bees left, and a couple more hours before anyone actually found the body.

_… And that was the day I first realized that the universe was conspiring against me._

_It was also the day… I met him._

**To Be Continued...►►**.


End file.
